Pondering Pastor

Funeral Sermons

October 3, 2007 · 10 Comments

A fair number of people have found this site by searching for funeral sermon material. Therefore, I might as well make some comments.

I clearly have developed a pattern and am filled with biases about funeral sermons over my years as an ordained pastor.

I believe that a Christian funeral should ultimately be about Christ. What does the Christian promise hold for those who die and those who live? Christ’s death and resurrection mean something. There is no denial of death in the Christian funeral. There is no denial of sin in the Christian funeral. There is no denial of the need of God’s grace in a Christian funeral. If those are not lifted up, we probably don’t have a Christian funeral.

Having said that, the funeral is not the time for an “altar call” or to drive the assembled family and friends into the arms of Christ. Simple statements about the impact or importance of faith are usually sufficient. A simple homily, very focused is usually best. It is hard for family and friends to endure long or complicated proclamations of the Gospel. My pattern is usually to acknowledge the loss, to give thanks to God for placing the person in our lives to know and to love, and to recall the promises of God in Christ (forgiveness of sins and everlasting life). Beyond that, the funeral liturgy is allowed to speak as it has for centuries.

There are many “Celebration of Life” services available, and this is becoming the usual thing people request. The person’s life can be acknowledged in the loss and the giving thanks to God sections of the homily. There is nothing inherently wrong with a “Celebration of Life” except that too often the emphasis solely on the deceased and usually one particular view of that person’s life. A Celebration of Life might not include Christ at all. It is rare that an eulogy is done well. (If pastors would stop making their relationship with the deceased normative, that would go a long way to improving the funeral sermon.) Consider that each person’s relationship with the deceased is different. Each have their own disappointments, their joys, their struggle, and their wonderful memories. The funeral sermon should be shaped so that people might be able to recall elements of their own relationship with the deceased.

The funeral service should be long enough to know that something significant has happened, and not so long that people begin looking at their watches. Funerals are places where people who normally don’t attend a worship service might have experience with Christian worship. It should be relatively easy to follow without compromising the integrity of the funeral liturgy. The funeral is no time to get “cute” and “innovative”. The liturgy has developed out of faithful experience over the centuries and should be maintained.

When the military is involved.  I try to finish the Christian burial pieces, and then let the military conduct the services without trying to integrate the two.  It just seems to work better.

Oh, and be sure that the cell phones are off.

Pondering Pastor

Categories: Liturgy · Lutheran Perspective · Preaching · Religion · Scripture

10 responses so far ↓

  • Stanley E. De Veaux // October 11, 2007 at 1:55 am | Reply

    Greetings:

    Thanks for your comments about funeral sermons and related material.

    I am preparing for a memorial serivice for a young man who was killed in New York City.

    Blessings,

    Stan De Veaux

  • Pastor Elena // January 18, 2008 at 1:34 am | Reply

    Thank you pondering Pastor. I just came in from doing my aunt’s service. As I read about how to do a service I was amazed of how much of what you said I did, except for one thing, I did do an altar call. This was my second funeral service I have done. I just did my brother’s six months ago. But I thank God because the Holy Spirit is the one who led me to do it that way. So I believe what you say is true and once again thank you. I thought it didn’t go to well but most of everything you said, I did tonight. Now I just have tomorrow’s morning service. Thanks for your help Pastor and God bless you. Oh, and the reason I’ve only done two funerals is because I’m new to the pastoral calling. God bless and keep up the good work.

  • Pr Z // July 29, 2008 at 6:56 pm | Reply

    I came to this web site for the very reason you stated in your opening sentence … I am looking for funeral sermon help, specifically an illustration or two other than the usual sappy poems and ditties that one finds. As a Pastor of 35 years, I want to add my ditto to your comments; you’re solidly right on! Thanks.

  • holyvernacular // August 7, 2008 at 4:34 pm | Reply

    well said!

  • A.Burch // August 11, 2008 at 12:42 pm | Reply

    I am browsing for funeral mtrl that is a departure from the same ole’..same ole’.

  • ponderingpastor // August 11, 2008 at 12:58 pm | Reply

    Who’s bored with it? The pastor? The hearers? If the pastor is bored, then maybe it is time to check to see what the pastor believes, because often doubt creeps in to make it boring. If it is the hearers, then that’s a whole different matter.

    My 2 cents.

    Pondering Pastor

  • Rev. Victorya // June 14, 2009 at 5:50 pm | Reply

    I am sorry to hear that you believe a Celebration of Life, is too much about the deceased!
    WHOA…I hardly know how to respond to that!

    A Funeral, Memorial or a Celebration of Life IS all about the person who has passed, are you kidding? It is not meant to be an ‘alter call’ to push YOUR view of God on the unsuspecting family… unless that was the desire of the person who has parted!
    Shame on you for having your agenda be more important than that of the family or their loved ones!

    • ponderingpastor // June 14, 2009 at 7:21 pm | Reply

      A Christian funeral is about the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the fulfillment of the promise Christ makes to us. A Celebration of Life usually is about the person who has died, (and yes, I prefer the real term “died” rather than the “passed” language). I don’t do “altar calls” (note the spelling please). I’m consistent with Christian tradition for centuries rather than denial-of-death and avoidance of Gospel. Of course, I’m steeped in a Christian religious tradition rather than cultural accommodation.

      Pondering Pastor

  • CYeatman // September 1, 2009 at 9:37 am | Reply

    I am hoping you are the person who would be able to help my and my fellow co-workers. We have a loved work-family member who has been through such a hard time. She comes from a big family and just lost her sister this spring and now has lost her mother. When we attended the funeral for her sister – there were several churches (of the surviving family members and of the deceasesed’s) brought forth Proclamations. This was the first funeral I had attended where these were offered to the family. There was also a proclamation which came from one of the family member’s work-places (a school).
    At our friends’ funeral, I am hoping to be able to also offer up a praclamation from our own school, however, am not sure about the elements which one should contain. Would you be able to share with me either an example of one, an outline for one, or a general guide which we might follow.
    I am sorry if this doesn’t fit within this thread, but do sincerely thank you, in advance, for answering my letter.

  • ponderingpastor // September 1, 2009 at 10:02 am | Reply

    I’m a little confused about what you are asking, but assuming I’m reading you right, how about looking at these suggestions for an eulogy. This isn’t what I do, but it may help you.

    http://tinyurl.com/lxwjyz

    Pondering Pastor

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