Funerals for someone who has committed suicide are challenging for the Christian pastor. For much of Christian history, and for much of modern Christendom, suicide is considered an “unforgivable sin”. I’m not convinced that suicide has placed someone irrevocably beyond God’s grace. There are examples of suicide in scripture where there is no negative judgment. In fact, 1 Samuel 31:4 has the account of Saul commanding his armor bearer to kill him, and when the armor bearer refuses, Saul falls upon his own sword. Some will argue that Saul was already out of favor with God. Some will make a distinction that a situation where one is likely to be killed and abused by one’s enemy is different than someone who willingly commits suicide.
Let me simply say that suicide is not a choice I recommend. I don’t think offering possible scripture passages for a funeral of a suicide victim contributes to suicide.
I’ve conducted at least 2 funerals for people who have committed suicide. I don’t remember many details of the funeral for the first one. The second one, I used Matthew 13:24-30 as the scripture text.
Matthew 13:24-30 He put before them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven may be compared to someone who sowed good seed in his field; but while everybody was asleep, an enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and then went away. So when the plants came up and bore grain, then the weeds appeared as well. And the slaves of the householder came and said to him, ‘Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? Where, then, did these weeds come from?’ He answered, ‘An enemy has done this.’ The slaves said to him, ‘Then do you want us to go and gather them?’ But he replied, ‘No; for in gathering the weeds you would uproot the wheat along with them. Let both of them grow together until the harvest; and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, Collect the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.’”
The refrain, “An enemy has done this” can be very effective. We know that mental illness, including depression, can result in suicide. I’m convinced that “an enemy has done this” and the experience of the master in knowing the difference between weeds and wheat, what was planted and what was not, who a person is and what awful things have been a part of that person’s life cannot be underestimated.
At least consider it.
Pondering Pastor
12 responses so far ↓
Pastor David // October 10, 2007 at 4:01 pm |
I think you are right on point here. The fact is, as you poiny out, the decision made in suicide is not a decision made by the individual, but by the demons of mental illness. I for one find it difficult to imagine that God will condemn for such an out of control decision. I posted some time ago about the increased grief that seems to accompany suicide.
By the way, I like the new lay out of your blog.
kenbaker // October 17, 2007 at 4:15 pm |
I appreciate your comments very much. My best friend committed suicide and he was a fine Christian, just overwhelmed by depression and money problems. I didnt preach at the funeral (I couldn’t have managed)but I did subsequently preach on the subject from “The enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy” which seems completely on track with your point here.
cordieb // October 17, 2007 at 6:15 pm |
Thanks so much for sharing. I’m not a minister, however a minister once told me that there is only one unforgivable sin, blasphemy. He pointed the text out to me in the new testiment; however I can’t remember where it is listed. When my cousin committed suicide, the minister preached a text about being in the basement. If you have any idea of what text he may have been using, please let me know. Thanks. Have a blessed day.
Rev. JC // February 19, 2008 at 3:40 pm |
Thank you for your insight. I will be preaching a funeral service soon and needed another positive take on it.
hysperia // June 25, 2008 at 2:36 am |
I’m glad to have your scriptural reference for funerals for people who have committed suicide. But I’ve never really understood how any Christian can decide what God thought of anyone or anything. I always thought that Christians left the judgments up to the Creator. I always thought that a good part of Christianity was about not throwing stones at other sinners, for who has not sinned? How did this view of suicide become traditional anyway?
I may have a pretty simplistic view of Christianity, but I always did just ask, “how do you think Jesus would have seen this situation? what do you think he would have done?”
I guess this could be dangerous, because maybe I’ll come up with the wrong answer, but it does move me inevitably toward more loving, expansive, non-judgmental responses, I hope.
Of course, I’ve had some experience with suicide. I say of course because, if that weren’t the case, I likely wouldn’t have done so much thinking about it. I just can’t think of anything more cruel than rejecting the possibility of forgiveness for ANY person. And I’m not pro-suicide either.
Jean Baker // August 7, 2008 at 12:16 pm |
My husband was parnoid/schophrenic and he committed suicide. He was a Christian. Where was God when he was so depressed? Why didn’t God answer his prayers?Why didn’t God help him? Maybe there is no God.
ponderingpastor // August 7, 2008 at 12:34 pm |
Jean,
These are huge questions, ones not answered quickly, easily, or in this kind of forum. Ellie Wiesel’s book “Night” explores these very same questions from the experience of the Holocaust. I’d recommend it as a starting place.
I still maintain that sin and evil infects this world and our lives. We are not puppets at the whim of God.
Pondering Pastor
Ed // December 29, 2008 at 4:11 pm |
Thank you for your thoughtful words on suicide. I am a pastor and have to do a funeral this week for a suicide victim and found your thoughts helpful. God bless you. Ed
shannon // January 6, 2009 at 3:24 pm |
I come from a small town where many people that I know have committed suicide. I did not attend any of the funerals. I do not know what was said at any of them…I was just on this website because there was another suicide and I don’t understand why someone with a young child would commit suicide…leaving that child…in the cases I know, there was not diagnosed mental illness. Jerry killed himself one year after his drunk driving caused the death of a friend. Janell committed suicide while drunk. J.D. killed himself and does not seem to have any trigger. B.J. is the recent one and hanged himself–that is what I was told…
Sakala // February 17, 2009 at 4:26 am |
I head Derek Prince, one of the great preachers in deliverance and demology say in one of his tapes ” no one has ever commited suicide except under the impulse of an evil spirit”. I think first of all we need to join in with Jesus in this spiritual fight against the suicidal spirit, and and then as we have been encouraged by scripture. refrain from stigmatising suicidal funerals. Am moved by Shannon’s testimony.
Karen // February 19, 2009 at 5:23 pm |
I have know death in all it’s various disguises and none are more devastating than suicide.What evil and misery that caused it , one will never know. What grief is inflicted on the family,friends and community of the departed is monumental.Everyone’s life is changed forever by one act of satan in one moment in time.
I believe if the person who committed suicide was a born again believer , they would be forgiven of their sin and still go to heaven.If they were not a believer they may have become one in that last nano second before life ended and they still would go to heaven.If , at the very end, they still choose not to believe in Jesus as their SAVIOR and LORD,well nothing changed for them as they
were not GLORY bound to start with.
travisconnick // October 6, 2009 at 12:11 pm |
Thanks for the article. I recently did a funeral for a young man who committed suicide, and I used 1 Thess. 4:13, and I think it’s especially helpful at those times to be able to share with those left behind what the Scriptures actually say about suicide, you can find it here: http://travisconnick.wordpress.com/2008/11/19/suicide-survivors-questions-answers/
Thanks agian!